After getting the ball rolling here on my blog, I certainly didn't intend to disappear from posting. I also have been remiss in posting to/reading messages on Facebook. In addition, I've been doing the barest of email reading. If you haven't heard from me, chances are I don't even know you tried to reach me.
The last day my middle child, my oldest daughter, my Magpie, attended school was October 25, 2013. I've been rather focused on her, and more than a tad freaked-out. (If you take "overwhelmed" and mix it in with "incalculably worried", you get "more than a tad freaked-out.")
When her illness started, she was pale, feverish, with recurring headaches, a bit of a sore throat, and fatigued. Of course, after a couple days, we headed to the pediatrician for a thorough exam, a throat swab... and a diagnosis of "a virus." My girl spent the two weeks following this diagnosis sleeping countless hours each day, not eating enough, pale as a ghost, and miserable. There were three more physical examinations, eighteen different tests run on my daughter's blood, a chest x-ray...
During the third pediatric office visit, when the physician was writing orders for the last round of blood tests, I pressed to have Maggie tested for Lyme Disease.
Despite our not having been aware of Maggie having been bitten by a tick since April, the symptoms matched. When she was bitten in April, the tick was actually crushed by the waistband of her jeans before it could drink her blood and swell. But, this summer was a very bad one as far as ticks were concerned, and not just at our place on the river. One morning, I was sitting on the patio flagstones working on some painting project, and on the ground next to me was a tick, completely full and bloated to the size of a pebble.
I thought about that tick, lying on the ground in my teeny backyard, about Magpie's waist-length, thick, curly hair, and about how a tick might latch on, fill up, fall off, unnoticed over the course of a weekend at the river. Of course, my kids shower there, but there are always seven to twelve people at the river house and only one bathroom; showers are taken quickly.
24 days after the onset of her illness, Maggie's blood work came back positive for Lyme Disease. The delay in her diagnosis, and more importantly her treatment, puts her at risk for other health issues, as well as prolonging the symptoms of Lyme Disease beyond a "typical" span.
At this point, Maggie's been taking medication for 21 days, and is still suffering from crushing fatigue, headaches, joint pain, light-headedness, and malaise. Besides feeling badly physically, she's frustrated, sad, and lonely.
Maggie is currently receiving homebound instruction through our school district; the teacher is a fifth-grade teacher (actually from Maggie's middle school, which is a huge help) who comes in the evenings and on weekends. My girl hasn't attended regular school in five weeks; I don't know when she'll be able to go back.
I'm not sure how to express the anxiety- sometimes it rides the surface of the day like a thick blanket, and other times, it skims the background like the music piped in stores. The anxiety, sadness, frustration, and fear has left me too brain-fried to work on my new classes or my writing. I have been working on a number of jewelry pieces (more on that soon) while I'm keeping Maggie company. (being home for so long is hard for her.)
We had a great week when, as a lead in to The 50th Anniversary of Dr. Who, BBC America aired a multi-day marathon of old Dr. Who episodes. Maggie is a huge Dr. Who fan (a Whovian), so I set up a bed for her in front of the large TV. She watched as she was able and slept as she needed. The Thanksgiving holiday break helped since Gryphon was home. He pulled out all the old-school Nintendo DS and GameBoy Advance Pokemon games, and enrolled her his trip down memory lane.
I'll keep you posted; keep Magpie in your prayers?
I found myself holding my breath through almost the entire post! This is horrible! I truly hope your Magpie will get better soon. Many prayers and high hopes for a speedy recovery! Stay strong!
Posted by: Patty Radish | 12/03/2013 at 05:33 PM
Holding y'all up to the light - Lyme is some scary stuff
Posted by: Laurie | 12/03/2013 at 05:39 PM
Oh LK, that dear dear girl and her dear dear mom...she'll get through this and when she does she think about all of the love and care that you and your whole family showered her with. It will stay with her always, the love. I have been holding her close in my heart and in my thoughts every day. Let's get together again soon - I miss you.
Posted by: Gina Geronime | 12/03/2013 at 05:45 PM
Will be praying for Magpie and will put her name on our prayer list at church.
Posted by: Glenda Hoagland | 12/03/2013 at 05:47 PM
I'm sorry to hear that Maggie has Lyme's. I was sick throughout my entire childhood. My parents were poor and we lived in a project. Whatever was going around I got. I know what it is like to be a sick child. I soothed my own loneliness by reading books. I always had a stack of library books by my bed. My plate is filled to the brim right now so I know how you feel. And, most definitely, I know how Maggie feels. I find the most catharsis when I share what has happen. Just putting it out into the universe seems to help because if we don't know then we can't help. This is the wisest thing you can do by sharing your problems with those who care about you, myself included. Sometimes, there is nothing comparable to the kindness and good wishes of strangers. I will keep your daughter in my prayers and my lighted candles. Life presents challenges. It's not so much the challenge. Rather, it is, the way we choose to meet those challenges. God Bless you and your family.
Posted by: Wendy Milone | 12/03/2013 at 06:22 PM
I am so sorry to hear this, LK. Prayers prayers prayers for her and all of you! My manager's daughter had Lyme Disease and missed almost a year of high school. She was an athlete and also had delayed diagnosis. You will be happy to know that she just graduated with honors from Cornell and is employed full time in a leadership program at a major corporation. I hope Maggie recuperates quickly as those meds kick in.
Posted by: Loretta | 12/03/2013 at 06:23 PM
Hi. Your daughter is so lucky to have a mom like you and I bet you feel just as lucky having her as a daughter. That goes without saying, huh? I am so glad that you pressed for the Lyme test. so many people don't take it seriously and after having worked in a clinic, I have seen what delayed diagnosis can do to a person. she sounds like a fighter and I have a feeling she is going to make it through just fine and will be back in school in no time. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Kath
Posted by: Kathy | 12/03/2013 at 07:00 PM
oh dear lord, LK. I'm so sorry. She, you, and your family are in my thoughts and prayers from now forward. xoxoxo
Posted by: emily cline | 12/03/2013 at 07:29 PM
I'm so sorry too. Hold her close and do all the right things. I will pray you get through this together. xo
Posted by: Catherine Witherell | 12/03/2013 at 07:37 PM
I am a mother, I feel this all the way through and am sending you all the healing thoughts I can muster. Both for you and your Magpie. I will light a candle and remember you, and hope that very soon she is back in the saddle.
Posted by: Jill K. Berry | 12/03/2013 at 08:26 PM
I will keep you and Maggie in my prayers. I must admit that I am a bit relieved, not that Lyme Disease isn't serious, but A.L.L. starts with flu like symptoms, and that one really scares me. God bless you both.
Posted by: Big Tony | 12/03/2013 at 08:27 PM
i'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. i'm so sorry this illness has happened to maggie and for you, her mama. i know how terrible it is to feel frustrated with your own body when it lets you down. and to have that happen to your daughter, well, that breaks a mother's heart. i will absolutely keep maggie and you all lifted up in prayer, centered in light, to the face of God. don't you think twice about not posting or reading emails. you have your priorities straight so do not worry about those distractions now. breathe easy and try not to let it all get too heavy. 'thinking of you and sending you much kindness from my heart.
Posted by: Kelly Snelling | 12/03/2013 at 11:08 PM
oh no, poor sweet Maggie, poor mama. My heart goes out to you both. I will keep you in my thoughts.
I miss you, I miss our wrong turns around and around the library with John, and our exhausting art journeys.
xoxo
Posted by: misty | 12/03/2013 at 11:28 PM
All I have is thoughts and prayers for you all, dear. Sending love. xxo
Posted by: Sarah Fishburn | 12/04/2013 at 12:26 AM
Sending oh so much love and prayers and visions of health to you and your daughter Maggie. I am so sorry to read this news. Thank you for sharing. You are an intuitive and wise woman, and a wonderful mother.
Hugs and Prayers,
Briana
Posted by: Briana | 12/04/2013 at 09:28 AM
We are keeping Maggie and your family in our thoughts and prayers. I contacted Limes disease in '94,it was attacking my heart. My wife has had it twice. We are praying for a total and complete recovery for your beloved little one.
Posted by: Marinko Kordich | 12/04/2013 at 11:29 AM
So sorry to hear about your daughter. My wife treats a lot of people with Lyme so I understand a little bit about what you are facing. We live in the epicenter of Lyme disease in NY and I am paranoid about letting the kids go out; I've been bitten multiple times and pulled many, many ticks off myself literally every time I step off the lawn, pick up firewood, move rocks, pet the dogs, etc. She is in our prayers, as are you all. I hope she has a full recovery. T
Posted by: Tom Bekele-Arcuri | 12/04/2013 at 05:51 PM
I will be thinking of you and Maggie and will keep checking on her progress when you can post it.
Posted by: Diane Moline | 12/04/2013 at 11:01 PM
Oh LK! Poor sweet girl! Poor mama! Keeping you all in my prayers.
Posted by: Tina | 12/05/2013 at 12:24 AM
Prayers and healing wishes being sent for Maggie, Mom and your whole family.
Posted by: cynthia | 12/05/2013 at 08:42 PM