responding, listening

I've been working on a new book design.  I wanted to have a covered spine, but use a sewn-over-supports sewing. I wanted the book to use something other than the traditional sewn-over-tapes binding you find often in a case-bound book.  And, I wanted it to have the flexibility of a paperback, but the sturdiness of a hardback. (more stiffness, but still flexible, and without the tearing and dog-eared corners paperbacks can get.) Oh, and maybe pockets on the insides of the front and back covers that won't come unglued or tear.

Yeah, I wanted it all. 

So, I've been spending way too much time lately in pediatric specialists offices with the smallest little. This has meant providing various forms of sedentary, inside-voices only, interesting entertainment.  Don't laugh.  Okay, laugh; I do. Luckily, the nurses and receptionists do, too.  These are, of course, pediatric offices and they are quite used to bored children. And, Sunny is so damned, well, sunny, and charming.  (clearly, not inherited from me.)

I have learned to pack a totebag with children's picture books, tiny pocket dolls, a blank sketchbook & markers (not for me), the Leapster Explorer, my iPad (mostly not for me) juice boxes, diet coke (for me!) & snacks.  When my wild child was engrossed in something not requiring me to assume a wide variety of dinosaur voices that fit their species' personalities, or sing a book opera-style in order to keep someone's attention (oh, btw, I cannot sing), my brain wandered to the aforementioned bookbinding puzzle.  And, in the midst of, "Sunny, you have had plenty of hand sanitizer as you have just  bathed yourself head-to-toe with it and are undoubtedly completely germ free." and "Oh, hey, maybe licking the glass on the fish tank where the past five hundred children have also rested their hands, palms flat & pressed their noses isn't such a good idea.", I remembered some supplies I had seen in my stash and I had a coherent thought.  Astonishing, no? 

I have this tendency, this bad book-binding habit, to do all the sewing to the book block and then procrastinate putting on the cover boards.  So, I had a book block handy for experimenting using my idea without needing to find the time to tear down paper and sew a book block.  I could paint and assemble in a few spare bits of time (having Sunny work the spray bottle as my "Spray-a-saurus", and do a little painting of her own helped extend that time), until I had what I needed.

So, here you have my latest prototype:

I found the perfect flexible cover idea, with pockets, and a way to easily use a sewing I love, by using canvas backed with something quite sturdy (what the sturdy something is won't be revealed as yet, because I am planning on working out a class around this idea. Yes, I am awful. )

I had painted the piece as one large sheet thinking I could create more than one prototype. While painting, I also removed some of the many layers of paint from several areas.  I did so thinking that I was creating space to add and work on some photos, add some text, do some drawing. 

While the book was drying under a stack of old atlases, I started on the next prototype. I sat with the leftover piece of canvas (18" x 19.5"), looking over the textures and colors in the painted layers, trying to decide which direction I wanted to fold the canvas for the cover. 

I was just randomly looking at the shapes in the paint and the way that the scraped away layers created forms and lines. Sometimes without trying, I find "things" in texture- you know, what I mean- faces in a knothole in a plank, or finding the shape of an elephant in the cracks on a ceiling.

First, I saw the eyes.  And then, the left side of the face, and her arms.  I made a deliberate choice not to second guess myself.  I picked up a soft charcoal pencil, figuring, I could always wipe away whatever I did. I responded to the shapes and lines in the clear areas, beginning with her face, and bit by bit, she arrived. I let those shapes and lines, the areas of dark and light, left by the remaining layers of paint determine what she looked like, working with those lines to reveal what was hiding there. I didn't have a plan, or an idea of where I was going until after her hair and skirt blew backwards across the left edge as she flew.  I thought when I laid her aside the first time, she would be a banshee.  But, no, after my next visit, I noticed she wasn't keening. Then, her arms had evolved as plump and warm, not bony, and her reach was giving, not menacing or grieving.   There was no rending of her gown, no tatters.  The night surrounding her, whomever she was going to be, seemed to speak of beginnings, of the births of mysteries, stars, or stories enclosed in globes of light. 

Last night, Joe pointed out to me that this is clearly my niece's face.  He is right.  The moment he said it, I could see her - her long dark hair and huge brown eyes, her nose and heart-shaped face. 

Being pressed for time is working on my side.  I have been walking by her resting on my worktable in the kitchen, as I go to wash the dishes, get Sunny a drink from the fridge, let out the dogs... I look at her, waiting for her to tell me what to do next.  Sometimes, I pick up the charcoal, a pastel, a pencil, a crayon, or the paint and work for a moment or two.  Other times, I just look, and continue on with what I need to get done, enjoying the wait for discovering the what-next.

I am enjoying the process of painting based on the shapes and texture, and not on a pre-conceived idea.  There isn't any pressure to match what is in my head, because I'm responding to what is existing there on the canvas.  I'm enjoying just listening.  I don't think I've painted this way in years. 

So, I'm taking a huge bit of a risk- but, here she is.  She's not finished. I'll let you know when she tells me who she is...  I have heard her whispering, but I can't quite tell what she is saying. I'm not worried.  Those whispers will get loud enough, and I'll know.

 

Comments

[Nolwenn]

Wow thanks for sharing all this.
Will it be an online class too (yeah i am boring with asking you this all the time, sorry about that).
I really LOVE your "just 3 books" and learned a lot. So i wish you will do more book binding online classes in the future.
I hope Sunny is okay !

[Sues Scott]

Her face is so sweet, your niece must be too. Great work. Praying your little one is ok.

[Tina]

Yummy process!

[Christine Kalina]

This is just fabulous! Serendipity! I hope Sunny is feeling better!

[Gina]

Being in a zone and working intuitively is the absolute best! So glad you got to re-visit that absorbing mind-set! Love the new journal cover idea. I also get all kinds of ideas for covers and bookbinding from interesting sources. And , sometimes I see figures in my work, too. But, I cannot really bring them to life in sketch form and you really can. Isn’t it great when the unconscious drops off a lovely calling card? Long live the creative life, L.K.!

[Judi]

I love your stories....you should write and publish them in one of these fabulous books of yours :-) Hope Sunny is back to sunny!

[KimMJ]

She is just beautiful! Thanx for sharing!

[Lisa MB]

That was outstanding! I love how you managed to keep your directive, more conscious brain busy while your unconscious painted your niece. It's like painting a dream without losing bits of it as you're waking up.
Cool, man.

[Marcy McKenzie]

tell us the name off the new binding so we can sign up for the class!!! Looks and sounds great!!

[kira]

That reminds me of the journals I started making because I wanted the same things! *G* Added pockets, a pen-loop, and got something that, like you said, has the sturdiness of a hardcover but is flexible in my hands. Mine have quilt batting in there, too, so they feel like soft pillows you could cuddle with. ;) I do like your covered spine...I'll have to work on that!