Last night, when I read about Tyler Clementi, how he committed suicide because his college roommate and one of the roommate's friends had hidden a webcam in their room, and livestreamed over the internet, Tyler having sex. I cried.
This has happened too many times, this thing where a child is bullied for who she or he is, and feels such despair. Adolescent and young adult brains are different. Even the most logical of 2+2 questions activates the emotional response areas of their brains.
Having worked for almost twenty years in college and university housing, I have witnessed more of this than I care to remember. So many things bring these kids to the gesture of suicide- things that we know will pass, or change... yet they feel so intensely.... and can't find their way out.
I'm a mom. To think of one of your children being in so much pain.... I googled suicide and bullying and found too many names in recent news reports- names of children as young as thirteen. My oldest child is almost twelve. My middle is eight; my youngest is almost four. Just as with other fears, I worry about how to keep them safe.
There is another aspect to Tyler's death- one that will draw a ton of attention. Tyler's sexual partner was male. Tyler was outed. But, even if Tyler had been in bed with a woman.... I know, if it were me, and I am part of the heterosexual majority, I would have been so incredibly humiliated to have my sex life broadcast without my knowledge... the very act of what the NYT article calls "the cruelty of filming another person in a sexual act without his or her consent." They weren't just filmed. It was a live broadcast and the two students who did this tweeted people to watch- an incredibly cruel prank gone horribly wrong.
I hope Tyler's partner has friends and family to love him through this. I'll be praying for him, for Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei who hid the webcam and live-streamed the video, and I'll be praying for the families of all four.
I'm not really interested having my blog go political, but my mom-ness is on my sleeve today- because that is where I wear my heart.
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